Whilst at University, my flatmates organised a Christmas dinner in the house. It was going to be a civilised affair, partners were invited and the girls were spending most of the Saturday afternoon preparing the dinner.

Anyhow, that Saturday, during the run up to Christmas, there was some international rugby, England v. South Africa, if I recall correctly. I went along with a few mates to watch the game in a local hostelry, and may have slightly over indulged.

Needless to say, when I turned up on the doorstep with my mate Jack and a surfboard we had acquired on the way home I failed to impress my housemates. They also didn't agree with the idea that having Jack there would add comedy value to the occasion. Fortunately Jack picked up on the vibe that he wasn't entirely welcome, so he made his excuses and left.

Without Jack to keep my attention I was suddenly aware of the difference in soberiety levels between me and the rest of the gang, and that this difference was probably equivalent to how unimpressed most of the rest of the guys were with me. Hence I decided that the best course of action would be to smarten up for the occasion, so I put on my dinner suit.

This provided some light amusement and in the meantime Nick, the boyfriend of one of my flatmates had calmed the situation down a bit, "Don't worry, just stick me and him down the end of the table and I'll look after him."

So, we sat down to dinner, and started off with a rather nice French Onion soup. We soon moved onto the main course, which, rather unsuprisingly was turkey. However, despite not noticing, for some reason, that I had been given its neck it tasted very nice. Eager to make amends for my drunken foolishness I informed the rest of the table. As they were all aware that I had been stitched up with the poorest part of the bird, this provided some amusement.

Nick decided to help me out a bit and informed, "That's its neck." Unfortunately, my senses weren't quite as sharp as they should be, and the message got confused...

"No. I'm Vince, you're Nick!" I shot back with the sort of conviction that only the truly drunk can really muster. The entire table was reduced to absolute hysterics and, being unable to tell the difference between laughing with and laughing at, I felt pretty pleased with myself.

Nick tried to explain to me exactly what had happened, but I really wasn't that interested. Due to me having the sort of confidence that only alcohol can give you he would have found it easier to change the tides. Right then I was the funniest man on the planet, and Nick was quite clearly an idiot for disagreeing with me.

Needless to say the rest of the evening didn't last very long, soon enough I was tucked up in my bed fast asleep...